Spotlight Job Fair

Today was the spotlight job fair. Luckily it was only for liberal arts private schools, so it wasn’t completely flooded with people. I originally went in with only one or two places to look at but ended up seeing some surprising additions to the guest list, and visiting more than expected. Overall it went ok. My friend Bob made a good point in looking back on the helpfulness of the fair. A lot of the groups represented just kept referring you back to their website. They might say a little and hand you a brochure but in the end would say “It’s all on our website, make sure to check out the website.” Blah blah.. Yes, that’s very helpful, but not for those of us that have already been to the website. We were there to actually talk to someone that could tell us more. They didn’t end up being as helpful as I had anticipated. However, I did learn a bit about those areas I had been pursuing.

A broad description of what I’m looking at now would be to get a masters in anthropology. Even better would be to also learn and then hopefully be able to specialize in the Arabic language and Middle Eastern culture. What would I do with that? Well I have been thinking I’d really like to work for the government, possibly in intelligence. I don’t mind moving around and would love to travel and go international. I don’t have any ties to hold me back and have moved all my life (and I love it!), nothing new. The first stop was the Peace Corp. What would be great about that experience is you get trained in language and culture of wherever you will be serving for three months, then you go and live in and work in that culture. It would be great experience, I think, and a great way to get that language and culture background I’m looking for. Plus, the 12 months after you finish you are given preferred standing to work for the federal gov. Although where exactly that is I don’t know. You can also start your masters, go over after your first year and serve your two years and come back to finish. That would be great! However, you do not have any say in where they place you. It will be strictly based on what you would be doing, and where that is needed. Soooo… I don’t think I’m going to go that route. I also talked to both the CIA and FBI. I am going to go ahead and apply and get my resumes into them. But it takes quite a while for their background research and I also need to get some experience before that would even be an option. The last place I stopped was the army. Yes, that’s right, the army. I think many would agree that that is definitely not what comes to mind when they envision my future. However, I have considered it a lot. The lifestyle would be wonderful, change and moving and traveling (different once I have a family, if that happens). Plus, he said they would pay me to go to language school, which is the best in the country. And, they would pay up to $70,000 on my student loans. That won’t cover it, but it would certainly help!

So there you have it. I will be looking into those areas and meeting with someone to talk about the army. I am also going to look just at the idea of going strait into grad school. I have a little time before definite decisions need to be made. But I will be praying and waiting for that push and opportunity that guides me in the way I’m supposed to go.

Morally Deviant Behavior: Justified/Not? Respect maintained in "justice" served?

Tonight we talked about pedophiles. We also watched a few videos on them. The first was talking about a park right across the boarder into CA from Mexico. Apparently lots of young Mexican boys were being talked into sex for money by older guys. The boys needed the money to survive since they just came across the boarder and were so young. The older guys, well they were just sick if you ask me. It doesn't seem the police are too concerned, some think because of who is involved, sad.

Also, we watched a headline on abc. They were having a girl pose as a 13 yr old girl or boy and get on chat rooms and wait to pick up pedophiles. This person would wait till the other person initiated the idea of getting together and ...well..you know. Then they sent them all to the same address, where there were video cameras hid. When the guys came into the kitchen she'd say she had to brush her teeth. As the men (they were all men) were waiting the host of the show would come out and talk to them, with copies of their chat conversations. Some guys ran, most tried to deny (until he read word for word what that guy said). When they ran, in the driveway there were cops waiting to arrest them. So either way they were caught. So... a few questions arise. Is it ok to set people up like that? Apparently lots of states would say it is. However, what I am not sure I agree with was the very public (national) presentation of what happened. They didn't even blur out their faces or anything, and said their names and stuff (because at first the guys didn't know they were being taped). To me that is just a little too far. These people should be caught, but in the end they are still people. To me their shame does not need to be public knowledge. I don't know, there are also reasons people would want to know thats what they were living around, but I would think there were other ways.. Kind of surprising though, one of the guys said he'd seen abc's other "predator" shows where they set people up, and yet he still fell for this.

“It’s not about doing anything or not anything. It’s about not telling God to stop. It’s about fighting for it. It’s about continuing to earnestly seek after him.”

"Respect for housing rules and consideration for coworkers and guests is essential. Sequoia Park is a remote wilderness area, wildlife (including insects and rodents) make their home here, expect to coexist. The black bear is also common and therefore strict food storage and refuse rules must also be observed."

Ha ha ha... So you're all planning on coming to visit right?! Can't wait? Yeah, I'm pretty excited too. :-)

Hey guess what!! Rachel is going to California for the summer!!! Yeeeessss! Thats right, just got offered a job at Sequoia/Kings Canyon National Park. I don't know exactly what I'm doing yet, details to come. But I was so excited, thought I'd share. :-) Oh, and I just got a new pair of running shoes, goodbye to pain in the feet and hello running!

“I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me.

Makes the lame to walk and the blind to see (opens),

Opens prison doors sets the captives free.

I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me

Chorus:

Spring up oh well…within my soul,

Spring up oh well…and make me whole,

Spring up oh well…and give to me, that life abundantly.

I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me.

Makes the lame to walk and the blind to see (opens),

Opens prison doors sets the captives free.

I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me.”

Chorus

Well, this song came into my head tonight. As I have said before it is interesting, especially if you haven't been listening to music in a while, to stop every now and then and pay attention to what song is in your head. What catches my attention are the ones that I haven't heard in forever, and that have lyrics that kind of creepily relate to the present in a very direct way. Ha ha, this just makes me laugh, so crazy. Earlier today I was praying for the Holy Spirit to start a fire in my heart that filled and overflowed, pushing out of my body. I prayed that his presence be so strong it would push out any thing that held me bound, all of the darkness, anything not him. And this song is what came in my head, hours later. For God to not only do his amazing work in you, but also have relationship with you, you have to believe. People can pray for you, even people that are interceding between you and God, people that can relay what God has to say to you. Yet, as I am learning, if you do not believe, truly believe in your own heart, "know that you know that you know"; then it cannot be real. For me, it’s time to claim these prayers, and believe. "I know, my redeemer lives, I know, my redeemer lives, let all creation testify, and this life within me cry, I know, my redeemer lives..."

The Parable of the Talents...

A very wise man used a parable from Matthew 25:14-30, The Parable of the Talents, in his devotional this morning. He then went on to talk about how God has given us all gifts and how we need to be investing them in the kingdom, otherwise others are suffering because of it. He definitely put on a different spin that I had never thought of, but he's right. Tonight I watched "Saw II", yeah, I probably shouldn't have blah blah, but curiosity had me. Anyway, after being reminded of how valuable life is; and the way we live it and remembering this morning's devotional it had me thinking. It isn't something I had never thought of before, but this time it was different, and I feel very convicted to change. You see, I have been wasting the "talents" God has given me. I am the man who buried his out of fear. I can't say I know for sure what God has gifted me with specifically, and for what specifically but two things stick out.
These two things are areas of potential strength; a strength that I am ashamed to say hasn't even been tapped into. I've floated along just getting by on whatever just happened to make it possible, never investing or putting forth effort. I could have really worked these "muscles" if you will and they could have grown, developed, and made possible who knows what. Instead, I have been lazy, and they have become weak, almost to the point of crippling me in those areas. I see now that there are losses I will never recover. What's sad is I think a lot of it has been stunted, on my choosing, out of fear and pride. "It is better to never try, and therefore never know, than to actually try and see where your ability meets failure." I could walk along knowing I could probably do better, but also knowing I wasn't even trying...a mystery, endless daydreams of what could possibly be, and of course as I would have wanted it to be. This is utterly pathetic. But it is something I have finally allowed myself to articulate in understanding, and face the true meaning behind my present state and the waste of time that brought me here.
What does this mean? Well, I figure I can keep sloshing in the mud or I can actually try to get out. I have two potentially wonderful gifts that I have not even given God the chance to develop, and that is selfish and foolish. Soo.... it's time, time to step out into that land of vulnerability where those gifts might meet their end, but also where God can move for glory. It's time to stop hiding and embrace the things this being was engineered to do and be. Here's to investing in those "talents", and giving God the chance to do what he created me to do.

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12

"Confession does for the soul what preparing does for the field. Before the farmer sows the seed he works the acreage, removing the rocks and pulling the stumps. He knows that seed grows better if the land is prepared. Confession is the act of inviting God to walk the acreage of our hearts. "There is a rock of greed over here Father, I can't budge it. And that tree of guilt near the fence? Its roots are long and deep. And may I show you some dry soil, too crusty for seed?" God's seed grows better if the soil of the heart is cleared.
And so the Father and the Son walk the field together; digging and pulling, preparing the heart for fruit. Confession invites the Father to work the soil of the soul." -In the Grip of Grace, by Max Lucado

Good stuff..yep, good stuff. It has been hard, at least for me to go through this process. There was/is a lot of junk that has needed to be cleared out of the way, stuff I didn't find necessary to separate myself from, an identity I didn't want to separate myself from. Yet I know it's true. How can he build me into the person he has created me to be if I am holding on to a bunch of stuff that does not glorify him? I am coming to understand and respect the need to rid this life of these things. I have also most recently been learning more on why there are some things I can't even be in the presence of if I can help it, things I must flee from. I don't know where my ancestry lies or what their lives have brought to mine, but I know what I am most drawn to, and it isn't the light and sunshine most would think of. I hated it when my mom would tell me I had to totally get rid of and avoid certain movies and music. I didn't like the idea that I couldn't control the affect, if any, it had on me and it seemed absurd that it would! It is scary to think of who I might have been if my parents hadn't adopted me and raised me as they did, most probably wouldn't even recognize me. I started this process a little over a year ago and it is pretty amazing to see where I've come. The ultimate importance is relationship with God. My mentor, however, has helped me to see there is still stuff that needs to be destroyed. The weird part has been trying to figure out who I am, now that everything I at least was initially drawn to has been pushed away. I suppose this is what I will come to see, as he builds me back up into the Rachel he created me to be. For now patience and trust...

Hello

I love how in order to leave your thoughts on someone's post you have to create a blog for youreslf. Soo.. I now have like twenty of these things...lol..ok so do they even have that many out there? Actually it's more like..uh..four. I don't have any thoughts right now, just saying hello. To..the people that might for some random chance read this :-D